116 - KIMLY CHAOS
Featuring: Beardo, Booze, Chuck Turtleman
Whaaaat’s up, my honkies?
What’s that sound, you ask? Why, that’s the New Idiot Alarm! That’s right. On this very special episode of the Sweet Feathery Jesus Podcast, we introduce you to our brand new Idiot of Facebook… Kimly Chaos!*
Kimly is a very special lady, who loves her kids, presumably thinks cancer is bad, and enjoys getting engaged on an almost daily basis to internet gentlemen she entices with a blurry photograph of her “clevage”.
Sadly and bafflingly, these relationships rarely seem to end on good terms, resulting in some very public arguments, death threats, pictures of weaponry and poorly spelled quotes from the bible.
The First World War was a terrible thing too, I’m sure we all agree. It did, however, lead to the birth of plastic surgery. I’m sure that if he were still with us, pioneering surgeon Sir Harold Gillies would look up from repairing the blown apart, caved-in face of a brave serviceman, and wipe away a tear of pride when he saw how his fledgling techniques eventually led to young stripper Kayla Morris being transformed from a normal looking girl into a cross between a barrage balloon and an upside down mandrill.
Meanwhile, Beardo gets flummoxed, Turtleman solves some more crimes, Booze impersonates a vicar and someone’s mum has hands like an alien.
So saddle up your lovely horse and stick us in your ears. It’s gonna be a wild ride!
*Special thanks to listener Tommy for discovering Kimly.