Warning guys. This week's episode is SERIOUSLY SEXY. Stick on some mood music, dim the lights, burn some incense and relax as we lather on the baby-oil in the company of playwright Tristan Bernays. This week's orgy of awful is all about the World's Worst Sex Scene and there are some - literal - bangers in here for you. There are appearances by the Marquis de Sade and Morrissey, we take a trip to the brothels of Pompeii and we discover that men will have sex with literally anything - even picnic tables. Genuinely, if you are a bit squeamish, there are some very rude bits in the show. However, if you like that sort of thing, then lay back and let rip!
Arise, ye noble listeners of Worst Foot Forward - sorry about accidentally slicing your heads off. Never mind, be of good cheer as Squires McStay and Van der Velde are joined by Sir Paul Duncan McGarrity, erstwhile archaeologist and comedian. Their quest: to venture forth in search of the World’s Worst Knight. Along the way they may face such dangers as Communist dictators with knighthoods, Queen Elizabeth I’s least favourite favourite, and a man armed with the most ridiculous weapon of all: a wasp gun.
Visit www.worstfootforwardpodcast.com for all previous episodes and you can now donate to us on Patreon if you’d like to join the World's Worst Family and support Ben’s new baby and Barry’s crippling trivia addiction: www.patreon.com/WorstFootForward
A podcast featuring a champion of the BBC's hardest quiz talking to two idiots about the World's Worst Quiz Contestant.
What is Worst Foot Forward's 73rd Episode?
Correct, and well done for putting your answer in the form of a question. We have Lydia Mizon as our guest, captain of the Escapologists, the winners of series 13 of 'Only Connect'. We interrogate loveable losers from shows as diverse as Mastermind, Pointless and The Weakest Link, we question the infamous Major Ingram and his Millionaire conspirators, and we ask just what exactly a multiple-murderer is doing on Bullseye.
Pop on your camera, get in line and prepare your finest gawking faces as we show you around our episode about the worst tourist attractions in the world.
We're joined by playwright and screenwriter Camilla Whitehill to share stories of Japanese hemorrhoid shrines, islands full of snakes and dead bodies and the strange modern fetishisation of sugar-covered chocolate.
Things are getting political at Worst Foot Forward as we all struggle to be Last Past The Post with our candidates for the World's Worst Elected Head of Government. Our guest is comedian Nat Tapley whose comedic characters include the dreadful Conservative MP Sir Ian Bowler, so he'll know a thing or two about dodgy elections and questionable leadership. Our worldwide tour takes us to far-flung Samoa, Turkmenistan and Switzerland. We jump back in time to Ancient Athens and admire trinkets like presidential statues, albums and cars. Oh, and there's an awful lot of Nixon. Awful being the operative word.
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It's Worst Foot Forward here, on the hour, every hour, whatever the hour, with an episode all about the worst newscasters of all time.
We're joined by the eminently qualified Glenn Moore - a brilliant comedian and also the voice of the news on XFM. Together we hold our noses and explore the word moral depths of Fox News and someone who really belongs on there - Nancy Grace. We also find out more about the Moira Stewart of North Korea, the history of Town Criers and absolutely one of the funniest on-air gaffes in the history of newscasting.
We're all offside and committing fouls after a false-start to Worst Foot Forward this week, throwing every bit of dissent we possibly can at the umpires as they outline the World's Worst Sporting Rules. With us we have Jonny Singer who, as an employee of the Marylebone Cricket Club or MCC, is one of the arbiters of the laws of cricket. He comes to us with plenty of full on mid-off silliness about lost balls. Barry talks about the Grand National that never was and when football would never end. And Ben has a complicated story involving goals in extra-time counting double and teams trying to score deliberate own-goals.
Video may not have killed the radio star, but it's certainly responsible for some incredibly poor creative choices since MTV was launched back in 1981.
We're joined by comedian and host of the tremendous 3 Track Podcast Gabriel Ebulue as we trawl through the horrorshows of wannabe somebodies and waywards superstars adding images to their music. Along the way we uncover the story of Michael Jackson's ill-fated attempt to be a director, a Star Trek-Lord of the Rings mash-up, some grim cultural appropriation and even grimmer and balls out creepy behaviour from Serge Gainsbourg.
This week we're endeavouring to look Very Serious Indeed as we grapple with thorny topic of political theatre. We're joined by director, actor and theatre-maker Daniel Bye who gets stuck into an episode packed full of history, literature, one-upmanship, shouting at people in crates, Elizabethan coups and an awful lot of codfish and rhubarb spoken about Shakespeare.
It’s all fun and games this week on Worst Foot Forward as Ben and Barry welcome Jamey Stegmaier to talk about the World’s Worst Game. Jamey is the founder of Stonemaier Games (https://www.stonemaiergames.com) and in the last decade he has created some of the highest-rated board games in the world such as Scythe and Viticulture. We cast our eyes on a few board games including a plethora of Monopolies, a few drinking games including one which enraged a pope, and a few sexy games whose players range from modern American college kids to repressed Edwardian gentlefolk.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @jameystegmaier @podnose
This week we're joined by podcast royalty and bosom buddies James Barr and Dan Hudson, aka A Gay and a Nongay to discuss what happens when friendship turns sour.
As ever, we gallop through the history books to uncover the reality behind royal whipping boys, a strangled Moorish poet, a million ways to stab your brother in the back and what happens when you get to over-familiar with bears. (Massive clue: you get eaten and have a documentary made about you by a brilliant, yet creepy German guy.)
Handbags and glad-rags time, as Ben and Barry record an episode in the Houses of Parliament in London, no less! And joining them is a dedicated follower of fashion and Labour Party Member of Parliament for Hampstead and Kilburn, Tulip Siddiq. Taking time from her busy schedule, Tulip's love of style is on full display as she confesses to past - and present fashion faux pas. Meanwhile Barry tries to insert a dog into a muff and Ben does his utmost to gross everyone out with invasive jewellery and lizards.
Tan-tan-tara-tara splutter splutter cough… This episode reaches you with a dribbly fanfare, a shambling parade and a few dubious musical acts, like all the very Worst Opening Ceremonies. Yep, this week we’re talking to actor and writer Jon Dryden Taylor about those very arcane mixed-bags which have preceded great events. We visit Hollywood in the dark days of the late 80s, Olympics and World Cups rife with scuffed penalties and roasted doves, and learn why the Magic Kingdom was a lawless wasteland on its opening day.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @JonDryTay @podnose
It's back to one of our favourite Sunday afternoon pub conversations this week as we go searching for more terrible footballers for our all-time worst XI. This week, we fill the centre-back spot and there are a rogues gallery of misfits, cheats and actual criminals all jostling, badly, for the spot. Our guest is football fan, Blackburn Rovers fanatic and tremendous stand-up comic Tez Ilyas.
We discover the story of the farcical Combination League - a precursor to the Football League in the 1880s which lasted less than a season, how and why the Madagascan champions lost 149-0 and who exactly was a "bastard's bastard" during the 1970s.
Hullo hullo hullo...what have we got here then?
Why officer, it's an episode all about the worst coppers of all time. We invited on QI elf, novelist, lateral thinker and ex-policeman with over 30 years service Stevyn Colgan to join us in settling the subject. As you'd expect, there's plenty of disreputable plods and dastardly inside jobs including brothels, speed cameras, three-card tricks, cross-dressing, lollipops and a very enthusiastic revolutionary. Have a listen and we're sure you'll agree it's a fair cop.
We’ve a spring in our steps and a Spring in the studio this week as Brooklyn’s sharpest wit Spring Day is with us to talk about the World’s Worst Family Traditions. We mine the murky world of Reddit and our very own listeners for pranks and Stacks, we shove vicious insects into various items of clothing and we put so many babies in peril. So many babies…
It's time to get out our Bunsen Burners and boil everything down to its most basic constituent parts: if we can work out what the worst element in the world is, perhaps we can uncover the secrets behind all heroic failure?
Joining us this week is breathtakingly smart and multi-talented chanteuse of the science world Helen Arney. Part of the Festival of the Spoken Nerd, Helen has appeared on TV and Radio as both a science communicator, madcap experimenter and dab hand with the ukulele. Together we navigate through the tricky quarries full of Kryptonite (all 22 varieties), sinister red mercury, dull old Boron and the phoenix-like astatine.
It’s a beautiful day! Our guest this week is the actor Felix Trench, star of the podcast sitcom ‘Wooden Overcoats’ (www.woodenovercoats.com) and history graduate who thumbs through the Worst Foot Chronicles to look for the World’s Worst Day. There are quite a few to choose from… Felix gives us a worldwide tour of the year 1556, Ben harks back to the day the 20th Century began and Barry does a double-take as he discovers his calendar has a February the 30th.
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We're joined this week by award-winning Kiwi comic and former criminologist Matt Stellingwerf to cover a seriously grisly topic: the world's worst punishment.
This episode comes with a serious content warning as we delve into the depths of human behaviour to discuss capital punishments with the sort of inventiveness normally reserved for Wallace and Gromit. Our search takes us from medieval Spain to Enlightenment Sweden, with nods to Greek myths, Greek history and depressing American present. You'll learn a lot in here and hopefully come away not too depressed about the nature of humanity...
This week on Worst Foot Forward we are celebrating joining Podnose, the UK’s leading independent entertainment podcasting network. To mark this, we’re looking back over our first year (and a bit) of trivial silliness and awful achievements. We’ve picked out some of our favourite facts and fripperies from episodes 1 to 53, featuring some of our very best guests and very worst worsts, including understudy dogs, delicious seagull wine, Sexy Pac-Man and #goatballs. If you’re a longtime listener or are tuning in for the very first time, this should give you a good idea of the sort of nonsense we peddle week in, week out. Wooden spoons at the ready? Dig in.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @podnose