098 - LUCY JOHNSTON - WORLD'S WORST VENDING MACHINE

December 3, 2018

Inspired by the mot batshit crazy Patreon suggestions we've had so far, we plunged head first into the surprisingly fertile and unsurprisingly weird world of terrible vending machines.

Thankfully we had a responsible adult with us as our guide in the shape of Lucy Johnston - author, curator, futures consultant and, as it turns out, a fairly impressive authority on vending machines.

This week we discover a Roman inventor to rival Da Vinci, the folly of Piggly Wiggly, a lobster nightmare and, of course absolutely loads of bizarre stuff from Japan.

Visit www.worstfootforwardpodcast.com for all previous episodes and you can now donate to us on Patreon if you’d like to support Ben’s new baby and Barry’s crippling trivia addiction: https://www.patreon.com/WorstFootForward

097 - ANDREW O'NEILL - WORLD'S WORST GOD

November 26, 2018

Our listeners, who art in the internet, hallowed be this episode of Worst Foot Forward. We are getting blasphemous this week in every possible religion by denouncing the World's Worst God with comic, musician and practicer of magic, Andrew O'Neill. We look at obscure ancient deities, eternal bacon, Dutch eel-vendors and Andrew tells us about the ultimate case of 'cutting your nose of to spite your face'.

096 - ANNA PLOSZAJSKI - WORLD'S WORST MATERIAL

November 19, 2018

We're joined this week by the eminently qualified Dr Anna Ploszajski - Young Engineer of the Year, Channel Swimmer, science explainer and graphene-hater to talk about the worst material on earth.

As eclectic as ever, we uncover a World War 2 plan by the British military to create aircraft carriers out of icebergs made of ice and sawdust, the blackest substance on earth, an astonishingly petty art spat featuring Anish Kapoor and how to make a prison that Ant Man could never escape from.

095 - SCHALK BEZUIDENHOUT - WORLD'S WORST GIG

November 11, 2018

Testing, one two one two, is this thing on…? We’re met by a mix of cricket sounds, flying bottles and scathing reviews this week as we perform the World’s Worst Gig. We have the company of South African comic Schalk Bezuidenhout who shares a first-person tale of steakhouses, strippers and stand-up. Ben takes us to the worst Beatles gig ever (those of you playing the Ben/Beatles drinking game, down it) and Barry goes to the not-so-genteel theatres of Covent Garden.

094 - MIKE STUCHBERY - WORLD'S WORST EPIDEMIC

November 5, 2018

This week we're donning our sterilised plastic gloves, three face masks and a full hazmat suit as we prepare to deal with the world's most peculiar, disturbing and deadly epidemics. We're joined by outstanding historian and curator of one of the most informative and sinister Twitter feeds around, Mike Stuchbery.

Together we talk about renaissance nuns pretending to be cats, Singaporean men who think their wangers have disappeared and why it’s never a good idea to throw a smallpox party. We also discover the unusual genesis of cooties (hi America listeners!), dabble in some medieval witchcraft and discover why Portuguese schoolchildren have taken the biscuit with excuses for taking days off school.

093 - JOEL MORRIS - WORLD'S WORST MUSICAL FILM

October 29, 2018

This week we are jazz-handing, kicklining and tumbling sideways off a swirling staircase into a pile of soggy Busby Berkeley girls. It’s time for us to explore the World’s Worst Musical Films with a show-stopping guest in the form of acclaimed comedy writer Joel Morris. If you think you’ve seen bad musicals well, you ain’t heard nothing yet folks. Barry plots his way through a plotless film starring The Beegees but using the music of The Beatles, Joel teaches us to be sexy with octogenarian Mae West and Ben…oh Ben…Ben gives us the gift of Franz Liszt.

092 - AIDAN GOATLEY - WORLD'S WORST TATTOO

October 22, 2018

Bite down hard and prepare to feel some unusual pain as we inflict the world's worst tattoos on you. Joined by the charming stand-up comic Aidan Goatley we return to the terrifying world of Russian prisons, uncover some creepy Cold War secret, Japanese pelts, the mysterious Edith and why early 20th century royalty were absolutely covered in ink.

091 - BEX LINDSAY - WORLD'S WORST TOY

October 16, 2018

This week we enter one of the creepiest world's imaginable: the nightmarish dimension of terrible toys. With award-winning children's radio host Bex Lindsay as our guide we uncover the dark truth about the Beanie Babies, a darker truth about how certain people like to make babies and quite a lot of toys that you absolutely must keep away from babies.

090 - ANDREW SHAFFER - WORLD'S WORST FAN FICTION

October 8, 2018

Let your imaginations run wild - this week we are reading the World's Worst Fan Fiction. Our guest is Andrew Shaffer, New York Times best-selling author and fan fiction parody writer extraordinaire. He tells us about the genesis of 50 Shades Of Grey among thousands of other Twilight fan fiction tales, while Ben talks about sex and Barry dives back in time to some of the earliest fan fiction stories around. It's a very saucy episode - if there isn't slash fiction written about us after this one, then you're all clearly made of wood!

089 - JACK BERNHARDT - WORLD'S WORST PRESIDENT

October 1, 2018

Having already determined the worst monarch and emperors of all time we return to what can best be described as History's Marianna Trench of awful leaders to uncover the Worst President. And no, it's not who you think it is - but only because he's not had enough time to do that much damage.

Joined by BBC Radio 4 and Guardian writer Jack Bernhardt examine likely candidates from the IOC, the Hall of Presidents and a French President who died perhaps the most French death of all time.

088 - HELEN MCCARTHY - WORLD'S WORST CULT

September 24, 2018

The Church of the Holy Worst Foot holds the secret to eternal satisfaction you've been looking for all your life. Available for a low low lifetime subscription fee of several million pounds! This week, we are joined by host of That's A Cult?, Helen McCarthy, to discuss the World's Worst Cults. There are Japanese foot-readers, Indian bike-worshippers, Quebecois masochists, militant nudists and The Crown Prince of Hell himself. Just another day in the compound then...

087 - MATT HIGHTON - WORLD'S WORST DEATH SCENE

September 17, 2018

Slashed down in a shower, melted by a girl and her little dog too or just squashed by an ACME anvil - it’s time for this podcast to die in the World’s Worst Death Scene possible. Taking on this topic suggested by Patreon supporter Catherine Pugh is comedian Matthew Highton who revisits the third instalment in the legendary Basket Case trilogy. Remember guys? Remember Basket Case? Ah you do. No? Really? There’s also plenty of paltry perishing from Barry and Ben too, with diversions into Shakespeare and snuff films, Ancient Rome and Ethan Frome. This one has the occasional gross description, so do listen with care.

086 - MOLLY KER HAWN - WORLD'S WORST FICTIONAL CHILD

September 10, 2018

In this episode we line up some of the stickiest, naughtiest, most badly behaved and obnoxiously prodigious children ever created by authors and line them up for six of the best. We're joined by literary agent Molly Ker Hawn, someone who is steeped in children's literature as National Programs Director at the Children’s Book Council and a past board member of the United States Board on Books for Young People. Like all good agents she knows what she likes and doesn't hold back when she finds something that doesn't cut the mustard. We end up talking about Belgian newspapers, Roman foundational myths, Roald Dahl's offcuts and an audacious wartime fraud.

085 - TAYLOR GLENN - WORLD'S WORST DETECTIVE

September 3, 2018

Gumshoes on, private dicks at the ready, it’s time to crack the case of the World’s Worst Detective. With us is the multi-talented Taylor Glenn, host of the Drunk Women Solving Crime podcast and she sweeps her magnifying glass across the questionable tactics of on-screen detectives. Meanwhile, Ben looks into the weird and wild biography of the father of modern detection, and Barry journeys to Cabot Cove, murder capital of the world, to hunt down Angela Lansbury.

084b - THE BEST OF THE WORST OF THE BEST 2

August 27, 2018

Hop in the time machine! Ben and Barry are jumping back to episodes 6-10 as they revisit those subjects - but in a positive light!

76 episodes ago we uncovered the worst British Day Out, Architect, Astronaut, Heist Movie and General. This time, the very best of these include burning Viking longboats in the Shetland Islands, a classic film oozing Cool Britannia and a buccaneering French aristocrat. AND there's a redemption story for an old friend from space.

084 - LORD FEAR AKA TOM BELL - WORLD'S WORST EMPEROR

August 20, 2018

Listen to the sound of those really long trumpets with carpets dangling off them - it can only mean one thing, it's time for our episode about the worst emperors of all time.

We're joined by the master of the Knightmare dungeon Lord Fear, in heavy disguise as actor and comedian Tom Bell as we discover tales of incest, concubines, whoopee cushions, penguins, ghost-killing ceremonies, Ming the Merciless and fox-tossing.

If you enjoyed this show you can support us by heading to www.patreon.com/WorstFootForward and pledge to support the show from as little as $2/month. When we hit 25 donors we'll crack out an extra show each month where we will go even more in depth about previous show winners and reveal even more daft stories of heroic, farcical and often bloody failure.

083 - JOURNEY AROUND THE MONOPOLY BOARD

August 19, 2018

Pull up a chair and prepare for some world class arguments, trivia and brutal no-holds-barred capitalism as Ben and Barry present their first ever Patreon exclusive. We promised that when we got to 10 Patreon donors we'd do special episode and here it is.

We revisited the world's worst board game - Monopoly - with former guest Paul Flannery and played a game so you guys never have to again. On the way we journeyed through all of the destinations on the London board and uncovered the worst stories possible in all of the locations, including kinky Czech classical musicians, brutal East End gangsters, bear-baiting, Boudicea's grave and how MI5 used Free Parking to win the war.

We didn't want to subject you to the full experience of over two hours of Monopoly gameplay, so consider this an edited highlights reel.

Let us know what you thought of the special on our Twitter @WorstFoot or via email on worstfootforwardpodcast@gmail.com. If you enjoyed this show and would like us to make more Patreon Specials, then head to www.patreon.com/WorstFootForward and pledge to support the show from as little as $2/month. When we hit 25 donors we'll crack out an extra show each month where we will go even more in depth about previous show winners and reveal even more daft stories of heroic, farcical and often bloody failure.

082 - OSCAR TOEMAN - WORLD'S WORST RESIGNATION

August 13, 2018

This week we are stepping down, shaking golden handshakes and leaving with our heads held high. Theatre director Oscar Toeman will guide Ben and Barry through the awkward history of the world’s worst resignations. Ben explores Ferdinand Marcos’ attempts to cling to power, Barry tells of a British peer who revealed his affairs a bit prematurely and Oscar sticks his head under the toilet cubicle doors in the old Wembley stadium to witness an England manager’s demise.

081 - FRANCESCO DE CARLO - WORLD'S WORST PRANK

August 6, 2018

Come, shake us by the hand. BUZZZZZZ! Smell the flower in my lapel. SPLAAAASSSHHHH! Sit on this comfy cushion. FAAARRTTTT! Sorry guys, but this week we are full of mischief and trickery as we try out some of the World’s Worst Pranks. With us is Italian comedian and former host of a radio prank show Francesco De Carlo who tells us about the time he lost a classmate in a Viennese museum. Barry explores the imperial history of whoopee cushions and how the British tried to beat Hitler with porn. And Ben takes in the spaghetti harvest and teaches us a thing or two about cracked pots.

080 - ABIGAIL BURDESS - WORLD'S WORST DANCE

July 29, 2018

One two three, step two three, one two three, I’m so sorry, I’ve crushed your toes. Swing your partners round and round this week, it’s time for us to chassis our way into the World’s Worst Dance. Grabbing us round the waist and clinging on for dear life is our guest, the comedian, writer and actress Abigail Burdess, who has a few choice words for Morris dancers everywhere. Meanwhile, Ben takes us to the early days of modern dance with a look at Stravinksy’s ‘Rite of Spring’ as choreographed by a horse, and Barry diagnoses dancing plagues and broken penises.