Ho ho ho! Happy "that time of year again when the old year dies and the new one rises from its ashes"! But this time we're also changing decades. For those of you who find this much change far too scary, we've got some good ol' fashioned nostalgia to keep you grounded. Ben and Barry, with help from some of their dutiful Twitter followers, have been digging out some of their favourite moments from Worst Foot Forward in 2019 and here they are in all their glory. Savour again delights such as a chorus of vaginas, the invasion of Sark by a single Frenchman, how Joan Rivers changed Cally Beaton's life, the saint who suckles at a deer's teet and the maddest ten minutes of your life as we lose our minds over toad sex. Thanks to all of you for listening in 2019, here's to a new year as silly as the last clearly was!
THE THIRD FOOT - CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS (BONUS EPISODE)
Merry Christmas one and all! If you've already run out of topics of conversation with your family members, well Worst Foot Forward is here to help! Join us for a batch of festive trivia as Barry takes us on a sleigh-ride through some Christmas traditions from around the world. There is the New Zealand Christmas Tree, the Christmas Pickle, The Late Late Toy Show and the Swedish TV tradition that ruined its host's marriages. Thanks to all our listeners for their support this year and through the years, hope you have a peaceful holiday season and we'll see you in 2020!
146 - SARA PETTIT - WORLD'S WORST TYCOON
It's a momentous episode as we have our first ever $20/month Patreon donor joining us as a guest on the show! It's Sara Pettit, a history graduate, American gal and old chum of Ben from way back when, and she joins us to bring some of the World's Worst Tycoons to light. We delve into the backstories of big hitters like JP Morgan and JD Rockefeller, we learn about how the founder of IKEA got his big break and we discover the weirdest sperm bank ever.
145 - CHRIS STOKES - WORLD'S WORST MYSTERY
Peer into your perpetually murky crystal ball and you might just be able to pick up this week's episode with comedian Chris Stokes, all about the world's worst mysteries. There's everything from the wildly implausible to the disappointingly mundane as we discover who might (but probably didn't) kill JFK, the sad tale of a very hungry French circus freak and why herring farts almost started a war.
144 - SUZI BATTERSBY - WORLD'S WORST MAKE-UP
This week our lipstick is smeared, our eyeliner is running and our foundations are subsiding as we apply the World’s Worst Make-Up. We are joined by prosthetics artist Suzi Battersby who talks us through her work on Star Wars and Holby City as well as visiting some of cinema’s less glorious and more racist moments. Ben goes on a jaunt with an Edwardian toff and prankster, while Barry has us glowing with radium-infused tinctures. There are also man-eating beds, horny giraffes and rabbis with a youthful sheen.
143 - MIKE SHEPHERD - WORLD'S WORST PILGRIMAGE
Come brethren, follow us into the unknown in search of greater glory - or certainly greater glorious failure, as we set off on the World's Worst Pilgrimage. We are joined barefoot and penitent by comedian and history buff Mike Shephard who teaches us all we could ever hope to know about the Children's Crusade. Ben leads us three times around a few Irish islands, and Barry gives creepy Japanese dolls a Viking send off. There are also chapels for dogs, imaginary pilgrimages and the micronation of Seborga.
THE THIRD FOOT - WARLOCKS (BONUS EPISODE)
Check out 'Literally Everyone Else In The World', the Dungeons and Dragons-themed Christmas single from The Oxventurers Guild, who are DM-ed and inspired by former pod-guest Johnny Chiodini. Proceeds from the song go to Mind, the mental health charity.
This month's Third Foot is itself inspired by our episode with Johnny, where we discussed the World's Worst D&D Class. Ben takes us to the weird and wonderful world of warlocks!
142 - ALISON SPITTLE - WORLD'S WORST MARTIAL ARTS MOVIE
Say "konichiwa" to an hour of wayward ass-kicking (we were actually aiming for our elbows) in the company of brilliant Irish comedian Alison Spittle as we dive into the bizarre and tasteless world of terrible martial arts movies.
We discover the mercenary world of Brucesploitation, the homemade kitsch of Ireland's only martial arts movie and how one American gymnast turned a pommel horse into a deadly weapon!
141B - BEST OF THE WORST OF THE BEST 7
We are sunny sides up this week, going back to past subjects and finding the very bests instead of absolute worsts. We revisit shows with Sindhu Vee, Tobi Wilson, Dr Keir Shiels, Edd Kimber and Tom Crowley. Among our discoveries are the adventures of Mrs Einstein, the true name of Scooby-Doo, the doctor with the fastest scalpel in the west, the soggiest soggy bottom ever, and an art gallery full of apple-faced businessmen.
141 - XAND VAN TULLEKEN - WORLD'S WORST DIET
Open wide and prepare to swallow some truly terrible ideas as we uncover the wild and bizarre history of dieting this week. We're joined by the globe-trotting, myth-busting, BAFTA-nominated doctor and TV presenter Xand Van Tulleken who is there to fact-check us on our science and quackery.
As usual we ping from the ancient world to the modern as we discover the $10,000 bottle of water it's too dangerous to drink, a Looney Toon who exists solely on air and sunlight and why you should never eat a tapeworm in Tonga.
140 - ROANN MCCLOSKEY - WORLD'S WORST FEMINIST
Ladies (and gents, but only if you're ready to play nice), let's march arm in arm towards a more equal, happier future. Along the way, we're likely to learn from the mistakes of some of the World's Worst Feminists that we discuss with powerhouse performer Roann McCloskey. Roann turns her ire on the disappointing lack of solidarity from the likes of Germaine Greer and Paula Radcliffe. Barry dons a hazmat suit and ventures onto the darker message boards of the internet. And Ben takes us on an actual WITCH hunt. This is a bumper episode, with some quite meaty and serious chat about feminism and equality which we didn't want to cut out so settle in as two men tiptoe gingerly around, guided by a badass lady - as it should be!
THE THIRD FOOT - THE OSCARS (BONUS EPISODE)
Join us on the red carpet for our bonus episode as we pick over the bones of the weirdest, wildest and most ill-judged moments in the history of the greatest show on earth.
139 - DAN MUGGLETON - WORLD'S WORST PRISON
We are rattling the cages and walking the yards of the World's Worst Prison this week in the company of convict-by-birth, Australian comedian Dan Muggleton. Dan's love of prison documentaries sees him lead us into the terrifying but also porous 'Breakout Prison' of Papua New Guinea. Meanwhile, Ben squeezes into the smallest prison in the world, and Barry guides us round some of the most famous prisons on the planet, as well as chucking us into the cloaca of ancient Rome.
138 - JONNY SHARPLES - WORLD'S WORST SPORTS CLUB OWNER
Peep! The whistle is being blown this week, not just on the pitch but off it too as we turn both barrels on the World’s Worst Sports Club Owners. We are joined by ‘online joker’ Jonny Sharples who wallows alongside Ben as a fan of the long-suffering Newcastle United FC. It’s not just football clubs who get a drubbing, even though some of their owners have included the hardened criminals, arsonists and, in one case, over 50,000 crowdfunders. There’s also finally a nomination for a certain orange New York property developer and “president”…
137 - ARI ELDJARN - WORLD'S WORST FOOTBALL TEAM
Don your cardboard shinpads, make sure your studs are the right way round and prepare for some shoulder-high tackles as we present the worst football teams in the history of the game.
We're joined by Icelandic stand-up comic Ari Eldjarn: grandson of a president and son-in-law of an international footballer as we enjoy the most hapless starting XIs in history. In a game of three halves we meet a team of Portuguese criminals who terrorised their opponents, the teams FIFA won't accept in their club (big up United Koreans in Japan and Franconia) and the brave boys of early Icelandic football.
136 - ROB MULHOLLAND - WORLD'S WORST MUSICAL
We're jazz-handing, grape-vining, box-stepping and kick-lining our way through this week's episode, alongside comedian Rob Mulholland in the cast of the World's Worst Musical. It's an episode we've been looking forward to some time and, if the reviews are anything to go by, this is a surefire flop! We've got appearances by Spiderman and Hyacinth Bucket, a pile of bird poo and a motorway service station. This episode is so show-stoppingly bad, it's good.
135 - RACHEL WHEELEY - WORLD'S WORST GIFT
Since you've been very good we've saved up and gift-wrapped you this episode. Along with our guest - stand-up comic, producer and Douglas Adams acolyte Rachel Wheeley - we discover some of the worst presents in history. From diplomatic gifts like crocodile insurance, elk chairs and jellybean portraits to tasty camels, Saddam Hussein's favourite video nasties and a royal penis sheath, literally all human life is here in our enormous stocking!
THE THIRD FOOT - EUSTACE THE MONK (BONUS EPISODE)
It's time to hit the high seas (via a woodland stronghold, a monastery and a burning pentagram) as we feature one of our favourite discoveries from our time on this podcast: Eustace the Monk. Featured on our worst pirates episode with Will Seaward, Eustace lived one of the most eventful lives of medieval, or indeed any, times. Part folk hero, part swashbuckling outlaw, part servant of the dark lord and entirely unique, he packed more into his 37 years than many do in twice the time and ended up with his head on a pike for trying to play the English off against the French one time too many!
134 - ANDY BODFISH - WORLD'S WORST SPORTSMANSHIP
With elbows raised high and a steeplechase full of horseshoes crammed into our boxing gloves we spit in the face of the spirit of the game and talk to globe-trotting commentator Andy Bodfish about the world's worst sportsmen and women.
There are dastardly disguises for men, horses and racecourses, baseball bats full of cork, comfort-eating judokas and the worst ever soundtrack to warm up to.
133 - ROB TAYLOR-HASTINGS - WORLD'S WORST ROBOT
Bleep blorp, does not compute! This week, we risk infuriating our future overlords by naming and shaming the World's Worst Robots. We are joined by the implausibly handsome Rob Taylor-Hastings, actor and co-host of the podcast Roboteers Standby. He educates us about the history of Robot Wars and the magical geeky gladiators who engage in robot combat. Meanwhile, Barry stays in a hotel staffed by annoying machines and Ben looks at some terrifying attempts at real-life deep fakes.