070 - ABBOTT & EDMONDS' MADCAP MUSIC TIME

We promise, we will never talk about Russ Abbott's singing career again. Mostly because we have run out of stuff to criticise! In Episode 70 we take one last dip into the world of cheesy light entertainment music and discover a long long Abbott "classic". We also find something MUCH worse. A rare vinyl single. Introduced by "rumoured human" Noel (Tidy Beard) Edmonds. It's not good. Elsewhere in everyone's favourite economy comedy podcast, Paul & Eli argue over more Tales from the Dancefloor, Paul sounds like he is giving up and Eli decides to do something filthy to make things worse! It's not all grime, as Eli takes us once more into his Country Noodle Kitchen and rates, tastes and reviews some "cup noodles" from a range of leading, and not so leading, brands. Will Paul join in? Or will he just decide to do a pretty poor impression of Eli doing his old stand up routine? We think you already know the answer to that one!

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068 - THE LEAGUE OF SNACKS

The episode that nearly wasn't! But we rescued it! It's been a long time coming, but finally, Paul & Eli begin to put together their long awaited "League of Snacks" has begun to curate it's collection of snacks and crisps for review. It will be the most important thing of all time ever! Where will your favourite snack end up ranked? But before all that, it's the usual CheapShow madness... We have more weird and wonderful Tales from the Shopfloor, Paul challenges Eli to a devious round of The Price of Shite, we cram in an Off Brand/Brand Off and instantly regret buying so much mayonnaise. Finally, Paul opens up the doors to his Froth Shop and treats Eli to a whole host of cheap and cheerful candies... as long as Eli promises to stop creating any more stupid, awful new characters!

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067 - HoP 9 - THE DEFECATOR

Following on from the fallout of the infamous SEX episode, Ash is feeling considerably left out that no one wanted to write him into one of the sordid tales of CheapShow nookie... So Paul vamps one, much to Eli's chagrin. Ash then goes on to tell us about his vegan adventures in Rome, discovers who is in charge of penises at the Vatican and what a little pooping statue means. Elsewhere, Eli is typically hung over, Paul gets his Dollop Rip Off indefinitely postponed and the cheap chaps finally settle on the rules for the forthcoming "League of Snacks". It will change the world! It's another mini trip to the House of Pickles!

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069 - SEXY TIMES

It's finally here! The episode you have either craved... or feared... The SEX episode. As you can imagine, the contents of this podcast can be quite blunt and graphic at times, so please listen with that caution ringing in your brain! If you decide to listen, then be prepared to hear about sexual firsts, personal proclivities, shocking revelations and more! Eli and Paul delve into Poundland's brand of sex toys and, in the process, discover something truly shocking when they explore some interesting sex "life hacks". Finally, the gents open up the Inbox and read out YOUR listener CheapShow Slash Fiction... It will arouse, appall and probably make you tear off your ears. Oh, and Ash turns up too (we probably should've told him that we'd changed our meet up plans)! Episode "69" is the long awaited SEX episode. Don't say you weren't warned!

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066 - BOTTOM SNIFFER

Well, this turned out to be a big one! It's the episode that sees us tasting the most disgusting thing ever to pass our lips. It's also the episode where Eli delivers a brand new "Top 3", we find out what horror lurks at the bottom of the "bag of bags", the cheap chaps discover a most unusual flavour of potato crisps, debate whether you can live off food pills stuck up your arse and try out some infamous "high alcohol" cheap lager. Things get very heated in another bout of Board Game play time and we also invent the cruelest place in the world to eat. It's CheapShow: unnecessarily bigger, longer and uncooked!

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065 - MURDER OR ICE CREAM?

What's popular in podcasts these days? Murder, right? So Paul & Eli decide to jump on that "True Crime" bandwagon and find a story about a cheap serial killer. It does not go well and Eli is not impressed. In fact, Eli is not impressed much in this episode. He is let down by Tales from the Shop Floor. He is upset about the Cheap Eats selection and he is especially not happy about Paul... Who won't stop eating a sandwich. In fact, on reflection, this may be less a CheapShow episode and more of therapy session between two angry, tired men who have decided to record a podcast much later in the evening than they should ever attempt again. This podcast is a public record of this event.

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064 - A CRINKLY BOTTOM WEREWOLF IN LONDON

It's finally happened... The curse of Noel Edmonds has struck and has dreadful ramification on the whole show! The latest episode of the world's best and probably ONLY trash based comedy podcast returns with all the usual bells and whistles. Elsewhere, Eli tries to bring back the classic "Price of Shite" format but Paul seems determined to ruin it by pointing out as many flaws in Eli's logic as possible. There is also a very special edition of "Silverman's Platter" where the CheapShow Chaps dive, track by horrible track, into 1980's light entertainer Russ Abbott's cringe worthy album "I Love A Party". It becomes a feat of stamina. They also uncover one of the most unsettling kid's music singles ever and a random B side about... making a cup of tea? All this and much much less in Ep 64!!

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063 - HoP 8 - THE GOOCH

It was recorded between Xmas and New Year. It was meant to go out before New Year. It didn't. It's here now though! A brand new "informal" off brand episode of CheapShow where Eli, Paul and Ash get to just talk their heads off. In this random stroll through the minds of the Cheap Chaps... Ash explains what "NerfGate" was all about. We discover the wonders of the Gooch. Eli gives us a noodle update, tells us of a altercation with a bus driver and also offers up a mini Tales from the Dancefloor! Meanwhile, Paul gets slanderous and tries to find fun out of Auto Correct rudeness. Also. Eli loses his mind. Again.

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062 - MERRY MINJMUNCHA

It's Christmas... Apparently! But don't expect anything special from CheapShow this year... It's just the usual cheap chat, odd tat, Bric-a-Brac and an unusual board game Paul found in a strange shop he'd never seen before... There is something VERY eerie about this game though! Something magical... Oh and Merry Christmas!

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061 - DON'T TOUCH ME

Paul Gannon would like to use this podcast description to apologise for the ongoing antagonism and inappropriate contact between himself and his co-host Eli Silverman. Paul will be taking time to reflect on his actions and behaviour and he sincerely hopes this doesn't affect your enjoyment of Episode 61 of CheapShow. This episode features our very first "Tales from The Shop Floor" with some weird and wonderful Charity Shop stories, as suggested by listeners! It also contains a very generous "Me Casa, Su Casa"which brings a smile to someone's lips (appropriately) and a groan to someone else's (also appropriately). Silverman dishes out more random musical platters and the chaps end on another trip to Double Dare Land with random pop questions that, frankly, Paul doesn't have a chance in answering. He is going to be eating some foul jelly beans! Paul hopes you can, in time, forgive him for his behaviour and a joke so distasteful, we had to edit it out....

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060 - ELI'S COUNTRY NOODLE KITCHEN

If you have ever wanted to cook noodles in Eli's kitchen (because you obviously must be demented), you finally get your chance as CheapShow finally takes you into a world of pure imaginoodles! Move over Nigella, get lost "Masterchef" and bugger off "Bake Off", this is the cooking show for you! Eli takes you on a journey through his noodle knowledge and he devours some interesting, and surprisingly hot, cheap treats! Elsewhere in the show, Paul finally gives up on sentence structure, we offer bad advice to charity shops and we investigate a long forgotten US TV Game Show called... The Cheap Show! What's all that about then? Find out, in episode 60!

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059 - HOP 7: REDDIT OR NOT

Crisps! The final frontier. These are the continuing discussions of the USS CheapShow. It's ongoing mission to explore new snack ranking memes, to seek out potato based products and to boldly drone on where no pod has droned on before... As well as all that, CheapShow dabbles in some terrible role play as Paul tries to seduce Eli in order for the House of Pickles to get a proper wash down. They also tackle their brand new(ish) Reddit page and wade through the comments, critiques and many many Noodle questions that pollute those pages. Warning: Contains Noodles!

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058 - COKE HEADS

Has CheapShow crossed the line? You can only find out by listening to episode 58 of the Bric-A-Brac podcast that YOU adore! It's an episode that may upset, may offend and may make people shake their heads disappointingly! Eli nearly breaks Paul mentally with his revolutionary and innuendo packed "Tales from the Dance Floor". The CheapShow chaps put their taste buds to the test with a range of budget Colas that makes a liar out of Eli. Paul visits the "VHS Bottom Shelf" again with an almost coherent review of "The Garbage Pail Kids Movie". Finally, they play a game that stretches their limited acting skills to an offensive breaking point with "Accentuate". We apologise in advance!

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057 - SPIRIT SQUAD

Let's get spooky! It's another Halloween special at CheapShow HQ and you're all invited along for another episode filled with ghosts, games and grumpy old men.

It starts out typically rocky, as Paul & Eli have a very early blow out over Eli's silly voices, but things become a little more steady as the cheap chaps play a ghoulish edition of "The Price of Shite 2.0". Later, we play "Trick or Treat" as we mix Halloween candy with scary musical choices from Silverman's Platter. Paul also gets to show off his knowledge of the supernatural by listening to some truly spooky EVPs and plays a few audio anomalies of his own! Finally, CheapShow delivers something truly novel... A scripted horror comedy adventure! Ever wanted to know what it would be like if Eli and Paul were proper Ghostbusters? Well, you can now find out with their special audio play "Spirit Squad"

It's a bumper spooky CheapShow... Enjoy it. If You Dare!!!

With thanks to Ash Frith, Paul Rose (Mr Biffo) & Richard Wentworth (From The Hadron Gospel Hour podcast)!

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056 - GO FOR BROKE

What a lovely episode 56 turned out to be! Not a single raised voice, not one moment of anger... nothing. At no point does Eli completely lose his mind and start talking utter random crap. There is never a moment when Paul nearly explodes with anger after Eli purposefully fixes a game. Even when the chaps play MB Games retro classic "Go For Broke" is there ever a time when Eli rubs a small victory in Paul's face or Paul gloats as a poor winner. No.

This was a lovely show. One you can play to your parents or youngest, most impressionable children... Or just hedge your bets that "maybe" this is another tsunami of anger, bad language, laughs and petty duels to the death... It is CheapShow after all, the Bric-a-Brac podcast just for you!

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055 - HoP 6: "STORY TIME HELL"

Once Upon A Time there were two naughty boys! Two wicked boys with nothing too. One lived in a happy halfway house, the other in a house built on pickles & despair. One night they spoke about such wondrous things. Things that would set your hairs standing on end and boggle your mind... Of naughty Noel Edmonds and his horrid house party... Of sexy adventures in a house made of fun... Of bizarre life hacks designed to make living easy... and of magical dice created to tell tall tales that you'll have never have heard of before. Because they are bloody awful.

Welcome, to CheapShow's most random House of Pickles ever!

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054 - AN ACTING MASTERCLASS

CheapShow 54 aims its spotlight at the theatrical stage in an episode dedicated to the life and appalling acting talents of 19th century actor Robert Coates. But is Eli a worse actor? You can find out as Paul reads Eli another demented tale of low life larks. It's not just story time on CheapShow, the cheap chaps also present another "Mi Casa, Su Casa" segment which leaves both pretty offended and underwhelmed...

And we jump into another pile of vile vinyl in "Silverman's Platter" that takes in a tour of 80's novelty music, a Cabbage Patch Dolls concept album and the jaunty tunes of one of the UK's most racist 70's comedians. Oh what fun!

CheapShow was recorded at "The Pod" at White City Place.

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053 - DON'T GET MAD STRIKES BACK

You demanded that it returned. You wanted this. After long last, it's back... We are returning to the ugly world of "Don't Get Mad" and this may be the most demented, twisted, hilarious one yet... But don't say we didn't warn you! In this long awaited episode, Paul & Eli go back to basics with a classic Tales from the Dancefloor (one that manages to break Eli), a revamped "Price of Shite" that goes down very well indeed and a super sour "Cheap Eats" too! It's stuffed with the usual CheapShow madness but with the added volatility of an "angered by toothache" Paul and a "ready to snap" Eli... It's definitely the most CheapShowy CheapShow to date and it may destroy your tiny little minds. Hold On Tight. CheapShow was recorded at "The Pod" at White City Place.

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052 - HOUSE OF PICKLES 5

We venture onwards with our 5th trip to the House of Pickles, the supposed "mini" episodes that just keep on getting longer and longer! In this new audio adventure, Eli & Paul wax lyrical about the loss of the word "bastard", fail to create two new segments for the show, come up a cropper when they decide to pinch someone else's Life Hacks and Noel Edmonds is given yet more of a verbal beating. Also, Patreon donor Jordan Richards joins the Cheap Chaps for another chat where we discover Eli's fear of Ikea, talk the birth of Barshens, tackle YouTube scumbags and even dip their ignorant toes into Sci-Fi!

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051 - LIFE IS CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP

This should not have been Episode 51. Noel Edmonds made us do this. We can only apologise profusely and hope you can forgive us... We watched "Cheap Cheap Cheap". For our sins we watched it, so you never have to.

This episode begins as a commentary track for Ep01 of "Cheap Cheap Cheap" but quickly and horrifically devolves into something unforgivable. Eli was WAY too ill to sit through an hour of Noel Edmonds and it nearly breakes him. In turn, that nearly breaks Paul too. We will all be sorrier for the experience. We can never apologise enough. All opinions and immature accusations are obviously us taking the piss. Please do not make us lament having to write that last sentence. We feel bad enough.

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