311 - SWORDFISH

June’s strange theme of early-00s tech thrillers starring A-list Scientologists that also briefly feature William Mapother concludes with the Huge Act-Man/Halle Berry movie Swordfish, a film illegal to watch on anything other than a very ragged previously-rented VHS or scratched up DVD straight from the Blockbuster remainder sale. What delights will be discovered in the filmography of Skip Woods, the imdb page of Thomas Jefferson and the 2002 Critics Choice Award winners? And good god is there anything even in this film to grab on to?

No.

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311 - Swordfish
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233 - BE COOL

It’s the sequel to Get Shorty and we’re in a post-Snyder Cut world, what could go wrong? We love music, we love cinema, one of us loves the last time Travolta and Thurman danced together, this should be a lay-up.

Why does the return of Chili Palmer not work, and how much Aerosmith is allowed before things stop being cool? It’s a rough watch, and we try to make the most of it.

233 - Be Cool
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186 - GOTTI

Oh gotti, protect us. Andrew insists on watching a film directed by E from Entourage, and brings Johnny down with him. John Travolta plays a mob boss, but the real crime is against cinema, as the duo work out if films are bad or the isolation is just driving insanity further and further into our skulls.

186 - Gotti
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047 - BATTLEFIELD EARTH

047 - Battlefield Earth
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A Saga Of The Year 3000 - As Requested By Thomas Walker
Andrew and Johnny praise Xenu and join SEAOrg for the telling of L. Ron Hubbard's syfy epic, starring Dreadlock Travolta and a pre-Oscar Forest Whitaker and nothing whatsoever acceptable and OH GOD WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!?