Ladies (and gents, but only if you're ready to play nice), let's march arm in arm towards a more equal, happier future. Along the way, we're likely to learn from the mistakes of some of the World's Worst Feminists that we discuss with powerhouse performer Roann McCloskey. Roann turns her ire on the disappointing lack of solidarity from the likes of Germaine Greer and Paula Radcliffe. Barry dons a hazmat suit and ventures onto the darker message boards of the internet. And Ben takes us on an actual WITCH hunt. This is a bumper episode, with some quite meaty and serious chat about feminism and equality which we didn't want to cut out so settle in as two men tiptoe gingerly around, guided by a badass lady - as it should be!
THE THIRD FOOT - THE OSCARS (BONUS EPISODE)
Join us on the red carpet for our bonus episode as we pick over the bones of the weirdest, wildest and most ill-judged moments in the history of the greatest show on earth.
139 - DAN MUGGLETON - WORLD'S WORST PRISON
We are rattling the cages and walking the yards of the World's Worst Prison this week in the company of convict-by-birth, Australian comedian Dan Muggleton. Dan's love of prison documentaries sees him lead us into the terrifying but also porous 'Breakout Prison' of Papua New Guinea. Meanwhile, Ben squeezes into the smallest prison in the world, and Barry guides us round some of the most famous prisons on the planet, as well as chucking us into the cloaca of ancient Rome.
138 - JONNY SHARPLES - WORLD'S WORST SPORTS CLUB OWNER
Peep! The whistle is being blown this week, not just on the pitch but off it too as we turn both barrels on the World’s Worst Sports Club Owners. We are joined by ‘online joker’ Jonny Sharples who wallows alongside Ben as a fan of the long-suffering Newcastle United FC. It’s not just football clubs who get a drubbing, even though some of their owners have included the hardened criminals, arsonists and, in one case, over 50,000 crowdfunders. There’s also finally a nomination for a certain orange New York property developer and “president”…
137 - ARI ELDJARN - WORLD'S WORST FOOTBALL TEAM
Don your cardboard shinpads, make sure your studs are the right way round and prepare for some shoulder-high tackles as we present the worst football teams in the history of the game.
We're joined by Icelandic stand-up comic Ari Eldjarn: grandson of a president and son-in-law of an international footballer as we enjoy the most hapless starting XIs in history. In a game of three halves we meet a team of Portuguese criminals who terrorised their opponents, the teams FIFA won't accept in their club (big up United Koreans in Japan and Franconia) and the brave boys of early Icelandic football.
136 - ROB MULHOLLAND - WORLD'S WORST MUSICAL
We're jazz-handing, grape-vining, box-stepping and kick-lining our way through this week's episode, alongside comedian Rob Mulholland in the cast of the World's Worst Musical. It's an episode we've been looking forward to some time and, if the reviews are anything to go by, this is a surefire flop! We've got appearances by Spiderman and Hyacinth Bucket, a pile of bird poo and a motorway service station. This episode is so show-stoppingly bad, it's good.
135 - RACHEL WHEELEY - WORLD'S WORST GIFT
Since you've been very good we've saved up and gift-wrapped you this episode. Along with our guest - stand-up comic, producer and Douglas Adams acolyte Rachel Wheeley - we discover some of the worst presents in history. From diplomatic gifts like crocodile insurance, elk chairs and jellybean portraits to tasty camels, Saddam Hussein's favourite video nasties and a royal penis sheath, literally all human life is here in our enormous stocking!
THE THIRD FOOT - EUSTACE THE MONK (BONUS EPISODE)
It's time to hit the high seas (via a woodland stronghold, a monastery and a burning pentagram) as we feature one of our favourite discoveries from our time on this podcast: Eustace the Monk. Featured on our worst pirates episode with Will Seaward, Eustace lived one of the most eventful lives of medieval, or indeed any, times. Part folk hero, part swashbuckling outlaw, part servant of the dark lord and entirely unique, he packed more into his 37 years than many do in twice the time and ended up with his head on a pike for trying to play the English off against the French one time too many!
134 - ANDY BODFISH - WORLD'S WORST SPORTSMANSHIP
With elbows raised high and a steeplechase full of horseshoes crammed into our boxing gloves we spit in the face of the spirit of the game and talk to globe-trotting commentator Andy Bodfish about the world's worst sportsmen and women.
There are dastardly disguises for men, horses and racecourses, baseball bats full of cork, comfort-eating judokas and the worst ever soundtrack to warm up to.
133 - ROB TAYLOR-HASTINGS - WORLD'S WORST ROBOT
Bleep blorp, does not compute! This week, we risk infuriating our future overlords by naming and shaming the World's Worst Robots. We are joined by the implausibly handsome Rob Taylor-Hastings, actor and co-host of the podcast Roboteers Standby. He educates us about the history of Robot Wars and the magical geeky gladiators who engage in robot combat. Meanwhile, Barry stays in a hotel staffed by annoying machines and Ben looks at some terrifying attempts at real-life deep fakes.
132 - STEVE GRIBBIN - WORLD'S WORST RAILWAY
All aboard! Anyone who has ever used public transport in the UK knows that one of our favourite past times is complaining about our unbelievably sub-standard rail network, so it's about time we found out where it comes in the global and historical standing of terrible railways.
Joined by musical comedy legend and self-confessed maverick trainspotter Steve Gribbin, Ben and Barry chug along on a journey from the Corinthian in Ancient Greece to the Vatican City via New Zealand, Burma and a very creepy Victorian rail system.
131C - A VARIETY PACK OF SCHADENFREUDE
Ben's still decompressing from Edinburgh and Barry's away galivanting for his wedding anniversary, so we've thrown together a quick Worst Foot trifle of some of our favourite bits that didn't quite make the final cut over the past couple of years. We cover all the bases: Hamlet set in LA, the group dynamics of Alvin and the Chipmunks, Vladimir Putin's short-lived ice hockey career and a witch doctor pro-wrestler going ten-pin bowling.
Guest featured in this episode are Thom Tuck, Christian Tablot, Helen Arney, Tez Ilyas and Jim Smallman. Enjoy and we'll be back with a full episode next week!
THE THIRD FOOT - MADAME TUSSAUDS (BONUS EPISODE)
Come listeners! Join us in the snaking queue into the uncanny valley! Ben and Barry are a bit glassy-eyed in this month's bonus Patreon episode, as we venture into Madame Tussauds. Yes, there's no apostrophe. No, we're not happy about it either. Voted the World's Worst Tourist Attraction in our episode with playwright Camilla Whitehill, we're back for more torture in this chamber of horrors. We take a look at the real woman behind the name, learn how the models are actually made and examine the dubious presence of Hitler among the smiling famous faces.
131B - BEST OF THE WORST OF THE BEST 6
It's a Ben-and-Barry duo episode, another chance to delve back into the archives and revisit past shows. This week we flip the record on episodes 26 to 30, finding the very BEST in the subjects we covered back then. And boy, does that prove tricky when picking the Best Serial Killer... alongside that, we also look at drivers, musical duos, horror films and aliens. The whole thing has a bit of an aquatic feel, with appearances by both Jaws and space whales, while there are also chats on stunt drivers, the iconic sitcom 'Alf' and Lennon and McCartney. Yes, Ben's at it again with his Beatles agenda!
120 - JOHNNY CHIODINI - WORLD'S WORST D & D
Spellcasting - AWFUL! We are led through the dark and dingy underworld of the legendary roleplaying game Dungeons and Dragons by writer, performer, video game expert, Eurogamer content-maker, and professional Dungeon Master Johnny Chiodini. With Johnny's expertise we seek out the World's Worst Class (that world being that of D&D, not the stratified capitalist hellscape we're all currently inhabiting). There are notable appearances by the wizards of the Ku Klux Klan, the Chesney Hawkes warlocks and the vagabonds and vagrants of the United States, with shout-outs to Charlie Sheen, Machiavelli, and Cthulu.
THE THIRD FOOT - FERTILITY TREATMENTS
It’s your May Bonus Episode, thanks to our supporters on Patreon.com, and this time we are revisiting the episode with Dr Keir Shiels about the World’s Worst Doctor. Our winner was John R. Brinkley whose practice of putting goat-balls into human ballsacks to treat impotence leads Ben to take us through a history of fertility treatments. There are welcome returns for Pliny The Elder, the Malleus Maleficarum and the wandering womb, as well as plenty of animal body parts and urine - just a typical episode for us here at WFF.
119 - KATIE PRITCHARD - WORLD'S WORST ALLERGY
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCHOOOOO!
We bring you this week's episode with streaming eyes and ruby red nose as we dip or toes tentatively into the pretty grim world of allergies.
Our guest - musical genius and comedy joy-bomb Katie Pritchard - shares her own unique tasting menu of allergies, whilst Ben fails to keep a straight face about allergies to electricity, semen and blackberries and Barry recalls the findings of our old friend Pliny the Elder and some truly horrifying dog-bothering.
056b - THE WORLD'S WORST 'BEST OF 2017' EPISODE
This week on Worst Foot Forward we are celebrating joining Podnose, the UK’s leading independent entertainment podcasting network. To mark this, we’re looking back over our first year (and a bit) of trivial silliness and awful achievements. We’ve picked out some of our favourite facts and fripperies from episodes 1 to 53, featuring some of our very best guests and very worst worsts, including understudy dogs, delicious seagull wine, Sexy Pac-Man and #goatballs. If you’re a longtime listener or are tuning in for the very first time, this should give you a good idea of the sort of nonsense we peddle week in, week out. Wooden spoons at the ready? Dig in.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @podnose
055 - PROFESSOR ELEMENTAL - WORLD'S WORST HIP-HOP ALBUM
Pull up a turntable and join us as we cut through the hardy thickets of undergrowth that make up the choices of the world's worst hip-hop album. Joined by the indomitable Professor Elemental - the finest exponent of chap-hop and owner of the world's only monkey butler - we listen to music so asinine, offensive, badly produced and inappropriate that it should be banned by the Geneva Convention. All so you don't have to. On the way we discover the tragi-comic tale of Vanilla Ice, the potty-mouth Little Yachty and why hip-hop stars should never visit Stoke.
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @Prof_Elemental
054 - WILL SEAWARD - WORLD'S WORST PIRATE
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of Cointreau, it’s time for these salty seadogs to tell ye a tale! Gather ye round as Cap’n Will Seaward, comedian and storyteller of yore, is piped aboard the good ship Worst Foot Forward by Cabin Boy Van der Velde and Able Seaman McStay. Avast and away, they set sail in search of treasure, namely the World’s Worst Pirates. But beware! For there be many dragons along the way, including a pirate monk, a man who it is said ate his enemies hearts and even the man who is the reason we wannabe pirates do be talkin’ like this. Take comfort in stories of pirate gayness, hat-bandits and the origin of the word barbecue. AAAARRRRGGGHHH!
Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @WillSeaward