This week Dave, Joe and No.1 Dan find out that bells can be rung, Rooney does all the admin, Evertanas are in pyjamas, what do you where in bed Dan? Naked on the bottom, and a t-shirt in bed with no pants is weird.
023 - WHAT CAME FIRST, THE CHICKEN OR THE POTATO?
Joe and Dave discuss Eastern Russia’s frozen Horse shit and what can be done with it, and reveal why you won’t see vampires down at Selhurst Park, and Joe upsets Dave by saying John Terry has moved to a “bigger club”. Now, get your shoes on we’re off to a Wetherspoons.
022 - ERECTIONS ARE COMMON
This week Dave and Joe reveal that fidget spinners are EVIL, resident PI Arjan De Zeeuw investigates why FIFA are trying different curry flavours (did I hear that right?) and report that ze Germans have penalised England via a penalty shootout in the penultimate round of the tournament. Pah.
021 - ROBIN HOOD IS EVIL
This week the insufferable heat has got to the insufferable Dave and Joe, causing them to suffer, causing the quality of this episode to suffer. Is it a croissant? Is it a snail? Is it a sausage wrapped in bacon? Oh no, it’s an alien! (Hold on, no, it is a croissant).
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020 - DAN FLETCHER THE AFRICAN LAD
Following on from last week, we discuss some other inanimate objects that one could copulate with, reveal that Chinese poems could end your career and discover that football mascots could be part of a secretive guild.
019 - THE WINDOW OF TRANSFERABLE OPPORTUNITY
Can you legally marry a building, we ask? Also, a brand new feature on football transfers (with theme tune), and Joey Barton treats us to a titbit from his autobiography learning us that it wasn’t all his fault all of the time.
018 - ROGER MOORE'S EYEBROWS
This week Dave and Joe discuss the possibility of tattooing a replacement penis, discover that Roger Moore would happily tackle eight pussies (or even nine) and … John Terry. Yep.
017 - CARAVAN CLUB
This week Dave and Joe find out why some referees ‘knead’ to make some extra ‘dough’, give an in depth review to the 2016/17 season, and explain why divers will be punished and possibly humiliated. WARNING! This episode may contain obscene puns.
016 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID NUGENT
This week Dave and Joe are pleased to announce that Jesus is actually back (playing football), seagulls may now be eating humans, and that betting is more punishable than Kung Fu attacks.
015 - THE GOLDEN FOOT / SHOE / BOOT
This week Dave and Joe discover what Chris Waddle was doing in a sausage factory, find out seagulls have jizz, and learn that the Premier League is under siege from the Avians.
014 - DOES JESUS OWN ANY GULLS?
This week Joe and Dave would like to confirm that Charlie Dimmock is not "the chunky Groundforce guy”, and discuss possible cast members for ‘Fearless’ (the Jamie Vardy movie) and provide undeniable proof that footballers may well be intelligent.
013 - SESSEGNON GETS IT ON HIS LEFT HAND FOOT
This week Dave and Joe provide evidence that proves footballers may well be stupid, discuss the tidal flows from the north coast of Scotland to the western coast of Norway, and reveal that you will not find dogs operating MRI machines.
012 - LUCAS HAS TO WORK HARD TO THE END OF THE SEASON
This week we stand corrected by one of our listeners on beard watch, discuss how some beer can be literally shit, and get into the mind of ex hat-trick hero Robbie Earnshaw.
011 - NO. 1 DAN FAN
This week we welcome number 1 fan Dan who gives a well organised quiz (or something), Joe reveals an amazing fact about Alan Smith (not that one), and this last sentence contains no brackets. (Or nuts). This is nuts (oh, it does).
010 - THE TENTH EPISODE (IN A ROW)
This week Joe recants a story about vomit and Sunday supplements, Dave shows off his Rain Man-esque knowledge of shirt numbers and then discuss football rules that don’t apply.
009 - THE RETURN OF JONNY EVANS?
This week Dave and Joe try to work out if an Avocado is a vegetable, discover that impersonating Gael Kakuta could end in incarceration and we find out that Gareth Macauley is Johnny Evans’ errand boy… but why?
008 - STEVEN SEAGULL
This week Dave and Joe discuss Gavin Peacock’s christian Twitter rants, that Nemanja Vidic is 607 and ask the question: is Pinas the same as Penis?
007 - JESUS CHRIST FOOTBALL STAR
This week Dave and Joe discuss Gianluca Vialli’s mysterious foot, the mysterious second coming of the son of (a) God, and the fairytale of Gander Green Lane and the mysterious Pie Man.
006 - BARRY AND BILL NEVILLE
This episode includes ACTUAL facts, how Dave met two Barry’s in one day, identical twin footballers, and we ask: are men who work in garages just dirty big perverts?
005 - MARTIN TYLER'S GIRLFRIEND / DAUGHTER
This week Joe wears a sexy Christmas jumper which you can’t see, we look back at the year and discuss Leicester City winning the league (spoiler alert!) and Joe questions Dave’s knowledge of the speed of light.