311 - SWORDFISH

June’s strange theme of early-00s tech thrillers starring A-list Scientologists that also briefly feature William Mapother concludes with the Huge Act-Man/Halle Berry movie Swordfish, a film illegal to watch on anything other than a very ragged previously-rented VHS or scratched up DVD straight from the Blockbuster remainder sale. What delights will be discovered in the filmography of Skip Woods, the imdb page of Thomas Jefferson and the 2002 Critics Choice Award winners? And good god is there anything even in this film to grab on to?

No.

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310 - MINORITY REPORT

Everybody Runs, some simply run their mouth. We dive into Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning before jumping to Spielberg and Cruise’s first feature together, the sci-fi noir that has Tom Cruise calling Colin Farrell a twink. And other elements, but mainly that.

THE FERRYMAN UPON THE PLAINS - Andrew’s First Novel - Pre-Order Now!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ferryman-Upon-Plains-Andrew-Jones-ebook/dp/B0F39C3WM4/

309 - THE NAKED GUN 33 1/3: THE FINAL INSULT

Well, we’ve run fast through the Frank Drebin cinematic experience before August’s big legasequel, and whilst finding time to talk Thunderbolts* and Final Destination: Bloodlines, we also take a trip to the 1994 Academy Awards, the box office of OJ Summer and Neil Jordan’s filmography. Everything the Police Squad franchise was meant to invoke.

308 - ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS

At some point Andrew heard Johnny say “I never saw Tim Hill’s 2007 live-action/animation hybrid Alvin And The Chipmunks” so this episode exists. Johnny discusses seeing Six and Drop, there’s a deep-dive into the Hollywood Walk Of Fame and someone says “Alviiiin” like there’s a paycheque waving offscreen.

BONUS - STAR WARS EPISODE 1: THE PHANTOM MENACE COMMENTARY

It’s Andrew’s almost-birthday, we’re a day early so May The 4th Be With You and us talking over the classic George Lucas film about tariffs and taxation falling into fascism, he’s so smart!

Games, comedy, trivia, gungans. We talk all about the franchise and tie it in to Andrew’s new book The Ferryman Upon The Plains, a western saga about violence and generations of devastation through small acts. Order your copy now!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ferryman-Upon-Plains-Andrew-Jones-ebook/dp/B0F39C3WM4/

Commentary begins from 5 seconds into the film at: 00:12:08

307 - AMERICAN MADE

Spoilers For Sinners In This Episode!

We’re still running with the gimmick of Tom Cruise Films That Aren’t Action Films During His Action Star Run theme, this time with Doug Liman’s true-life drama about Barry Seale, pilot for the TWA, the CIA, the Cartel and the White House, but who is the most corrupt? (It’s Reagan, it’s always Reagan)

Johnny has thoughts on the latest Doctor Who and thrusts it in, the two talk A Minecraft Movie now Andrew’s witnessed it, Ryan Coogler’s Sinners, The Amateur and Warfare too, just a hodgepodge of cinematic discussion around the other forgotten Tom Cruise film from The Summer Of The Dark Universe.

306 - LIONS FOR LAMBS

Remember 2007? When Hollywood wanted to state they didn’t like what was happening, but also didn’t want to upset the concept of democracy that led to here because America rah rah even if erm-ooh-eck? Well, of course not, nobody could remember, it was a rough time for art. So we’re watching a series of actors-in-rooms-talking-tediously-about-not-much.

Here’s the carrot - Johnny watched A Minecraft Movie and Death Of A Unicorn, and the two discuss Jason Statham in A Working Man, plus The Naked Gun teaser chat and Andrew reminds you his first novel The Ferryman Upon The Plains is available to pre-order now at one bookstore, not a good one (amazon).

305 - DEEP IMPACT

It’s the other asteroid picture of 1998, and a host of actors cannot save Johnny’s boredom. Andrew details a notable incident of deep impact that the doc Zoo was based around and the two talk Black Bag, The Last Breath, In The Lost Lands, The Alto Knights, Snow White and Kraven The Hunter. Plus Andrew finally saw Wicked, was he a convert?

304 - THE NAKED GUN 2 1/2: THE SMELL OF FEAR

It’s the post-Oscar episode, a little late but as a movie show we HAVE to talk about it, that moment, of course, when… erm… Hey, Conan. Still prepping for August’s reboot of The Naked Gun, we’re driving into Washington D.C. of 1991 Bush-era first time around and contemplating David Zucker’s pivot to clear Republican sensibilities, mocking his own brother’s success with Ghost and what the hell a Scary Movie could be anymore. At least 2 people involved in this film were ignored from the In Memorium of this year’s ceremony and only one killed their ex and her partner.

303 - FRACTURE

I Recorded My Podcast… Prove It!

Johnny is a licensed driver and has taken to spending most of a week in the cinema, going Movie Mad. He brings with him thoughts on Captain America: Brave New World, The Monkey, Companion, Heart Eyes, A Complete Unknown, Flight Risk and Grand Theft Hamlet. All Andrew has to counter this is aunty Bridget Jones: Mad About The Boy, and that really cannot compete.

But Ryan Gosling, Anthony Hopkins and some nostalgia for early 00s middle-of-the-road adult-contemporary cinema takes hold, will Andrew recall his love for serious law drama? Will Johnny enjoy the non-courtroom-drama parts of this thriller? What contraptions is Anthony Hopkins drawing during the trial anyway? Is he Jigsaw? Prove it.

302 - CATCH AND RELEASE

It’s almost Galentine’s Day and Valentine’s Day, so it’s the perfect time to hang out and watch a movie about love, loss, the power of friendship and Kevin Smith in a rare acting role that isn’t a cameo or self-referential, besides the jerseys. Andrew weighs in on recent releases Wolf Man, September 5, A Complete Unknown and Presence, whilst Johnny remembers the time he went and tried to fish, did he catch? Did he release? Did he ever go again (Spoiler on that last one, no). Somehow this becomes a checklist of connections that prove Madame Web was right all along.

301 - U.S. MARSHALS

We’re on the run with the sequel to 1993’s The Fugitive and 2017’s The Fugitive AYMM episode. Tommy Lee Jones takes centre stage after winning an Oscar for the role years prior, and what follows is forgettable and sluggish, so we’re finding things to grab onto like, yup, more Cars-lore contemplation, as well as talking The Bank Of Dave 2: The Loan Ranger, A Real Pain and Jesse Eisenberg’s directorial career in full. What IF he played Mark Wahlberg though?

300 - JOKER: FOLIE À DEUX

EPISODE THREE HUNDRED!

Wow!

Woah!

What?

Wee!

Yep, we made it. Finally. Here is a big extravaganza and Andrew is all-singing-all-dancing through Johnny’s second-favourite film of 2024, a sequel to a film Andrew truly despised. Will Johnny convert Andrew to the Todd Phillips Joker sequel or will Andrew’s brain melt trying to make it through the panned flop film?

All will be revealed (as it is every episode).

BONUS - LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS COMMENTARY

We live in a post-Gavin & Stacey world and superfan Johnny wants to talk all about the show, whilst Andrew, who recently witnessed every episode, only brings suffering by turning the screws on Johnny and the audience, making us all witness the maligned horror comedy starring Matthew Horne and James Corden that wanted so much to be Shaun Of The Dead for the Gavin & Stacey fandom. Cue games galore, trivia of the BBC sitcom and conversations about the state of comedy and cinema in Britain so as to avoid the on-screen atrocities.

The commentary syncs 5 seconds into the film and starts 20 mins 4 secs into the episode.

299 - THE NAKED GUN: FROM THE FILES OF POLICE SQUAD!

Happy New Year!

Should old acquaintance be forgot then that’d be awkward indeed as Andrew holds Johnny’s hand to the Leslie Nielsen franchise-starting comedy classic that leads to the upcoming Liam Neeson reboot in 2025. Fear not, though, before getting into the ZAZ weeds there’s important talk on Luca Guadagnino’s Queer and the contractually obligated Lord Of The Rings: The War Of The Rohirrim, and a good discussion about AI-centric 4K remastering that’s plagued us all of late.

BONUS - SHARING CHRISTMAS COMMENTARY

It’s our final episode of the year, and it’s a Hallmark Christmas Movie commentary. On Peacock, Hallmark, and little else, but don’t worry if you can’t watch along, we provide as much plot as we can find in this empty vessel whilst playing a lot of fun festive film games.

Because this film starts so quickly, we roll in on 0 seconds into the film, no good sync point, no real point in the film…

The commentary begins at: 00:15:48

298 - NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATON

It’s our fa-la-la-la-la la-la la-last episode of the year and we’re going back on the Griswold Family Vacation Train to finally have Johnny witness a good old family tradition of a movie, whether he wants to or not. But Johnny tells us about his journeys through Oz from Great And Powerful to Wicked Part One, and Andrew has finally, finally, seen Memoir Of A Snail and gets to talk a little sad-sack stop-motion before the festive spirit takes flight for good.

297 - WHY HIM?

It’s Christmastime, we’re sitting in the world of Bryan Cranston comedy, and talking the problematic Franco brother. We’re also dragging in Paddington In Peru, GladIIator, Red One, an Irish filum with Paul Reiser and the Steve Martin Pink Panther movies, which turn out to be relevant to the feature presentation. If you’re looking for a slight dive into Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels, then this episode is for you and you alone.

296 - OVER THE HEDGE

Andrew stocks up on snacks and takes Johnny through the suburbs with best friends Steve Carell Squirrel and Nick Nolte Bear. They read Netflix top 10s, 2006 video game award nominations and hide from the aftermath of something that happened 2 weeks ago that shall go undiscussed forever if you live in cinemaland instead.

295 - NATIONAL LAMPOON'S EUROPEAN VACATION

Americans, get out of there whilst you still can, before the votes are counted on election night 2024. We’re going on the holiday road with the Griswolds through Europe, and discussing our own brief encounters across the continent. We also have a shamelessly packed chat about recent films, including Heretic, Juror #2, The Wild Robot, Piece By Piece and the third Venom venom venom venom and Terrifier films.