In Episode 21 of the Idiots of Facebook podcast, we have a two part show! In the first part, we take a look at the timeline of our old friend, Friend Zone Frank (yay!). Frank is pruning his Facebook friends list again, and it goes better than expected! Turns out that Frank is really good at losing friends. In the second part of this show, settle in for a special feature-length 3 idiot extravaganza! That’s right, not two, but three idiots! All this, a beautiful closing song cleverly selected that is inspired by something we talked about in the show you just heard, another beautiful song hidden in the afterstinger that has nothing to do with the show you just heard, and so much more. So stick us in your ears.
EPISODE TWENTY
In this action packed episode, Frank posts an old love letter written to him many years ago to his Facebook wall. It describes a very different Frank than we know now. One that is organized, makes good food choices, helps his lady be independent, and can even take care of houseplants! The ladies that can read it eat it up! Others understandably can't, because it looks like it was taken at the bottom of the sea. So in case you don't have 20/20 underwater vision, we read it to you in our usual dramatic fashion.
Next a drunken Lisa BEEP-do sings karaoke for us! And just like all of Lisa's celebrity friends, you are sure to love it! Evidently, they all posted how great they thought it was before it was taken down. Lucky for us, she tell us all of the comments, since we can no longer see them. All this, a clever closing song related to the content of the show, and more. So dial up your favorite Kardashian, grab your waterproof earbuds and give it a listen!
EPISODE NINETEEN
Hi and hello, this is Chuck Turtleman bringing you another episode of Idiot of Facebook. On this episode, Friend Zone Frank starts a new Facebook group room where he gives relationship advice! And who could be better to get relationship advice from than a 50 year old divorcee who can't get a date? The group is called Your (and that's spelled your) On The Air With Frankie. Which reminded us of something, so we play clips from that too. So sit back in your Rascal, microwave the holiday chicken patties, stick us in your earholes, and soak up the insightful relationship ideas only Frankie can give*.
*Frank's relationship advice is for entertainment purposes only. SFJ and IoFB are not responsible for any break ups, divorces, mental breakdowns, massive weight gain, or other health problems caused by heeding it.
EPISODE EIGHTEEN
In Episode 18 of the Idiots of Facebook podcast, we take a peek at our old friend Friend Zone Frank, who apparently, in an oxy-induced haze, made a rather inappropriate comment to one of his lady friends on FB. We then find out that he’s sent “a little something for the ladies” via photo to some of his friends and followers! Next, time to sound the new idiot alarm, because we travel from Boston to North Carolina to meet an all new idiot! Her name is Kimly Chaos, and her hobbies include blockin’ haters, taking care of her kids, and getting engaged. But not necessarily in that order. So stick us in your ears!
EPISODE SEVENTEEN
Hi and hello, this is Chuck Turtleman bringing you episode 17 of the Idiots of Facebook podcast! On tonight’s show, we look at Christmas posts from our favorite idiots, including Frank’s tree and what he wants for Christmas. No spoilers or anything, but it’s a girlfriend again. He also informs us that he wants to win the lottery, though when asked, admits he doesn’t buy tickets. But don’t worry, he has a plan. We next dive into the mind of Krystal Keith, and see what he’s up to and how many bicycles he’s had stolen since we last checked in. All this, two original songs, and much more. So stick us in your earholes.
EPISODE SIXTEEN
On episode 16 of the Idiots of Facebook podcast, we hear bits from episodes 108, 109, and 110. We learn that Friend Zone Frank is mourning a recent loss in his family, and how he deals with grief (posting it on Facebook). We also get to hear him chatting up some ladies, and see exactly why he got the nickname that he has. Lisa BEEP-do is preparing for Halloween, and we cover her new sexy costume, as well as look into some of her posts from Halloween past. But that’s not all! We then move back to Frank, and see that he’s been in the hospital with stomach pains. Lucky for us, Frank posts all about it from his hospital bed so we don’t miss any chances to show him sympathy. All this, a clever closing song, and much more -so stick us in your earholes!
EPISODE FIFTEEN
Hi and hello, podcast pals; it's another episode of Idiots of Facebook for your earholes. In today's show, we look at our favourite idiot Lisa BEEP-do, and everybody's husky pal, Friendzone Frank! Lisa's unable to attend her daughter's wedding, and has a retirement party from her job that no one knows what was. But we suspect it was selling virtual gift baskets for real money. (Spoiler, the posts of the retirement party gave no hint whatsoever, except that she didn't seem to have coworkers) Frank is sad this week because he doesn't have a girlfriend, so someone out there in Internet land makes some cheeky Franks to cheer him up! All this, a tease of likely future idiots, and much more. So stick us in the usual place.
EPISODE FOURTEEN
Hi folks, it’s Chuck Turtleman, your diligent and uncommonly attractive host. Tonight we’re bringing you a very special episode of Idiots of Facebook! In this show, we will cover the Holy Trinity of low IQ social media posters -Frank, Lisa, and Krystal Keith! Much like the mass of these three, the bulk of the show’s focus is mostly on Frank, though. We learn that Frank is unhappy with the supreme court ruling that gays can marry and he doesn’t want to live in a gay world, ok! He also shares his feelings on those who block people on Facebook, lets us know that he really wants a lady, and finally gives us all a big scare! Frank is considering closing his flower store on Facebook where he posts a beautiful flower photo every day (or at least a couple of times a week) for his bellas. But don’t worry, Frank rigs the election so the Frankie’s Flower Shop and Old Times is still in business -just don’t expect the flowers to have names. All this, a boatload of casual racism and homophobia and so much more… so stick it in your ears!
EPISODE THIRTEEN
What’s up my honkies! In this episode of Idiots of Facebook. We look at Lisa Beep-do’s new idea for a business, and it’s not just virtual gift baskets for your dead loved ones. Then, we go into Friend Zone Frank and take a deeper look at the mystery of why he can’t find love, even in a large metropolitan city. Then we move on to a serious issue. It seems one of our listeners is unhappy about our coverage of the Cheeky Franks of the Week, suggesting maybe we are being irresponsible journalists by covering these. Kind of like making anti heroes out of school shooters, only with fake Facebook accounts making fun of a fat bloke. We ponder these issues deeply, until Frank posts next. Then we bring you a whole slew of… Cheeky Franks of the Week! Put it in your earholes.
EPISODE TWELVE
In this action-packed episode of Idiots of Facebook, we get to know a whole slew of Cheeky Franks, learn why Frank’s hacker is so jealous, and move on to the second installment of the Saga of Krystal Keith. We get to follow his love life, and learn there might be more to his little ladybug than meets the eye. In pahhht two, Frank is on the news, when a big yellow taxi crashes into Sommerville. So pawn your mother’s wedding ring for a new set of earbuds, and stick us in your earholes!
EPISODE ELEVEN
Hi and hello! This week we have an even more special than usual episode of Idiots of Facebook! In episode 11, we not only get updates on Lisa (Beep)do and Frank, but we meet an all new idiot! We call him Krystal Keith. This part time motel maintenance man and full time lover is a very upfront gentleman. We discuss rustic woodworking, crystal methamphetamine, and the best way to display your penis for a dick pick (It’s either on a bicycle seat or stuck in a bag of weed, we can’t decide) All this, a side of Little Caesar’s and a dash of Fangelos, so put us in your ears!
EPISODE TEN
Welcome to the Idiots of Facebook podcast! In episode ten, we listen to the daughter of legendary actor Marlon Brando’s thoughts on the Oscars, catch up with Frank and Leah Shameless, and learn that one of the Idiots we have read for has passed away! Lucky for us, this idiot’s friends didn’t and we do touching readings of their eulogies of the departed Facebook friend they never met in real life. Don’t worry, we put the sad Hulk music behind it so you’ll know when to be sad. Oh yeah, that’s not all! Next, we meet Angelo! He used to sing in the Puerto Rican boy band Menudeo. Now he’s all grown up, and his popularity has gone nowhere but up. Oh wait, that was supposed to be just “nowhere.” Don’t worry though, he’s making a comeback by starting a Youtube channel where he records himself acting all sexy and singing over karaoke tracks! He only has about a dozen fans so far, but boy are they stupid. So we do dramatic readings of their messages to Angelo for your listening pleasure. So pop in some fake blue contacts, put on your most ripped-up tank top, and stick us in your ears!
EPISODE NINE
Hi and Hello! On episode 9 of the Idiots of Facebook podcast, we are going to continue to watch the saga of the 50 year old Italian children who think they are gangsters and the Facebook war they’ve waged. Only this time, people who may or may not be listeners have made a fake Frank account. Or ten. We call them, Cheeky Franks of the Week! And the best part about these cheeky Franks is, these people who aren’t fond of Frank think Frank is behind them… “as some kind of disguise.” After that, we get to meet an all new idiot of Facebook, Leah Shameless! We call her that because her name is Leah, and her last name rhymes with Shameless. Well, almost rhymes. Leah loves to post selfies that include cleavage, and her Facebook friends love them almost as much as she does. Almost. All this, Fake Frank as Fake Carl, a terminated pregnancy, and so much more. So call an ambulance, grab your best selfie stick, and put us in your earholes.
EPISODE EIGHT
What’s up, my honkies! It’s that time again. As usual, we bring you two classic Idiots of Facebook segment. In part one of this two part series, instead of delving into the trials and tribulations of one idiot, we hit on several of them to bring you a smorgasbord of low IQ narcissism. But wait, there’s more! We introduce you to hunky beefcake sensation, Angelo! He was in the Puerto Rican boy band Menudeo, but now he’s all grown up, and lucky for us, hasn’t given up his love for music! He’s got the body of the Hulk and the voice of Stephano. And he has VERY interesting fans on Facebook. So kick back, put on your favorite Taylor Swift karaoke track, and put us in your earholes, my soldiers!
EPISODE SEVEN
In this even more international than usual episode of the Idiots of Facebook podcast, we have two very special guests! You see, two listeners, Beardo Bearington and Gravy (along with a legion of catfish accounts), got to be good internet friends with Friend Zone Frank and found out all about his life. Listen as they join us from the lands down under to tell us all about their interactions with this fascinating man. Also, we catch up with everyone’s favorite idiot, Lisa B(BEEEEEP)do, discuss her “drama saga,” and one of us gets almost too drunk to podcast. So stick it in your earholes, and enjoy!
EPISODE SIX
On Episode 6 of Idiots of Facebook, we will take a look at a brand new idiot who will make you want to open your hearts and wallets. Or at least passive aggressively suggest that you do. So ring up the local pizza delivery, and put us in your ears. But no nacho cheese dip please.
EPISODE FIVE
Welcome to episode 5 of the Idiots of Facebook podcast! Have you ever heard of the American Business Guild? Well, you're about to learn all about it! They evidently give out rewards for achievements a year in the future (for only 99 dollars). We learn how to make a very popular Halloween bat out of household items, how to overcome more tragedy than anyone ever has, and how to stay sober for 40 days in only one week! Also, we get to meet Lisa's new/old beau, who is a dead ringer for Kenny Powers (off of the Eastbound and Down program), who shows us how to win the heart of a celebrity. And kick down their bedroom door in a fit of drunken rage. So run a nice bath, bring candles and a plate of bbq chicken, and stick us in your earholes.
EPISODE FOUR
Welcome to episode 4 of the Idiots of Facebook podcast! This is a very special episode, because instead of simply doing dramatic readings of the idiot's Facebook timelines, we called one up and had a long chat. We learned all about what it's like to be a morbidly obese partially deaf head of an organized crime family, who he would like to be president, who would win in a number of fights between fictional characters, as well as how to keep rats from running up your drainpipe. So get your glass of wine and your spaghetti and meatballs ready, because this is a one of a kind interview with Frank the Gangster!
EPISODE THREE
Episode 3 of the Idiots of Facebook is a podcast of two acts. We start off with a familiar deluded subject, and from her timeline, become introduced to a brand new Idiot!
The first act begins with a look at our friend Lisa and her unusual way of finding out about weather all over the country - much to the chagrin of an old lady in a bonnet. But then she is off of social media for a few days. Oh, what could we do for material?
Lucky for us, we ran across someone on her timeline who is one of the most special idiots we'e ever encountered. He's a morbidly obese, unemployed pensioner, and simultaneously a high ranking member of the mafia, and VERY direct with the ladies. So put us in your earholes, you'll enjoy this one for hours!
EPISODE TWO
Featuring Chuck Turtleman, Belasco, Booze.
Welcome to episode 2 of the Idiots of Facebook podcast. There’s a new star in heaven tonight. A new angel treading the boards on God’s eternal stage. Join us as we mourn the loss of an acting great. A legend of stage and screen. Then use a comedy loophole that allows us to spend 15 minutes effectively laughing at the death of an old lady*. But, with death also comes rebirth. Just like in Star Track 3. Join us as we celebrate the continuation of a famous Hollywood acting dynasty.
It’s the Circle of Life. Hakuna Matata!
*Also features a hot new board game, and the cast of SFJ performing gangsta rap.