98 - JESUS THE MONKEY!

Featuring:  Booze, Beardo, Chuck Turtleman

Producer: Chuck Turtleman, Booze

In this international, action-packed episode we have a very special guest from down under, Beardo! 

We start the show off getting the long-awaited global perspective on Korean Chinaleader Kim Jong Il, Jr’s newest execution method.  Professor Chuck Turtleman is Internet dating, and tells us all about his adventures with the fairer sex in Asheville, NC (home of Wackadoo’s comedy club).  Beardo gives us a live reading of his True Stories of Australian History, and it involves sex, animals, and sex with animals -which we learn is a favorite scandal with the Australian people. 

On our News Round, we take to the skies of London, England and Somerville, Massachusetts to discuss tortoise mating behavior and taxi cab crashes.  Our Idiots of Facebook segment has a recurring favorite, and he was on the news!  (and the News Round).  And, we have a heaping helping of Cheeky Franks of the Week this week.

We wrap things up with a discussion of girls on the dating site who have messaged Turtleman who are not girls. He would like to take for ice cream and ask about their day.

So put us in your ears, and get ready to learn, laugh, and maybe even find love.

97 - WHAT'S UP, MY HONKIES

Featuring:  Booze, Belasco, Chuck Turtleman

Producer: Chuck Turtleman, Booze, Belasco

Let’s clear up a bit of listener confusion. Contrary to popular belief, Mr Turtleman is not retiring from the podcast. He’s just being a crazy maverick & refusing to play by the rules like Belasco & Booze & all you other lame-O squares do.

He still brings us the News Round, though. But now he does it whilst chewing bubble gum, turning his hat backwards & wearing blue jeans & white sneakers. This week, we meet a Brazilian bodybuilder who asks “Do you even inject, bro?” & a Canadian Chinaman who likes turtles so much he attaches almost 53 of them to to his legs & under-regions. Or maybe they’re tortoises. Hard to tell.

We continue the tale of our new Idiot of Facebook  Krystal Keith & his completely trustworthy mustachioed lady, Booze goes into battle with an old girlfriend he hasn’t seen for over half of his life & Belasco celebrates Star Track Day.

Beam Me Up, Scotty!

Links

96 - LIFE IMPROVING LIFE HACKS

Featuring:  Booze, Belasco, Chuck Turtleman

Producer: Chuck Turtleman, Booze, Belasco

We have good news and bad news. First the bad news: a beloved part of our long-running podcast is retiring as of this show. The decision is final and only an enormous groundswell of positive iTunes reviews and word-of-mouth promotion will change it. The good news: Little Caesar is back and she’s still whining on Facebook. We have all the juicy details.

Also, we’ll hear about a pain-reliever commercial that’s giving Booze a headache. Belasco bemoans the unfairness of every other country in the world getting “Avengers: Age of Ultron” before the United States. Turtleman shares a few life-hacks that may just get you off the couch and living fully once again, but probably not.

Our Idiots of Facebook segment asks the probing questions: Could be that Crystal Keith has finally found love? Does Friendzone Frank finally end the pity-party and take charge of his life? You’ll have to listen. Later, in the News Round, a big-game hunter gets the big brother treatment and Zebras are on the loose again in (where else?) Belgium.

So put your phone on speaker and stick this one in your head, honkies.

Links